The Village
One of my favorite things in my grandmother’s immaculate, plastic slipcovered living room was a lighted oil painting that hung above her sofa. It was a quaint, French village scene peppered with lampposts and the sheen of rain-soaked cobblestones. The brush strokes were beautiful in the daylight, but on the rare occasion when she would turn its lights on, the scene came alive. In those precious moments, my vivid imagination envisioned the citizens who lived in that picturesque place. There were children and parents, shop owners, and in-keepers. In that village filled with imaginary people, lives converged in every imaginable way. There, parents and teachers trained children; neighbors and clergy encouraged them; family and friends embraced them.
That imaginary place is not unlike our villages filled with family and peers. Whether you call it a village, tribe, or in today’s parlance—a network, it is where we draw inspiration, learn valuable lessons, hone skills, and share gifts. The core village usually begins with family and grows over time to include key members from the various areas of our lives like school, church, work, neighborhood, and business. I’ll bet you can quickly identify members of your village from the various ages and stages of your life. The faces of crucial members and the vital lessons learned there readily spring to mind without much effort.
One of the most important lessons to remember and share about the village is to remain close to it. Though time and circumstance pull us in different directions, the village should always be close to the heart and mind. Things learned in the village and from fellow villagers shape behavior, inspire change, encourage hearts, train the young, support the old. It becomes the garden from which the essential things in life grow. Many examples of this exist in nature. Take, for example, an ant colony. In it, there are three types of ants: the queen, the worker, and the male. Each one serves a specific purpose. The male ant’s job is to mate with future queens. Once he has completed his job, he dies. The worker ant has the task of defending the queen and fulfilling other duties to help the colony survive. The queen’s job once she reaches adulthood is to lay eggs. When the queen dies, the colony survives only months. Every one has a specific role that benefits the whole colony.
Have you seen footage of a beautiful dazzle of zebras traveling in unison across some desert plain? Their stripes seem to reflect the sun as they move together. This moving in harmony is a defense mechanism. As they move along, they appear to predators as one large animal rather than easily targeted individual prey. When a member of the group falls behind or wanders away, predators move in for the kill.
Large migratory birds fly in a V-formation, positioning their wings to catch the updraft of the bird in front of them and save energy. In these formations, the leaders periodically change. Whether because of age, experience or condition, the leadership changes, and the flights continue. Similarly, village membership also changes. Sage elders pass the torch to younger villagers who have been trained to lead their portions of the journey. When we all contribute and learn, the village thrives. It has a value that cannot be measured. It is a combination haven, support group, and university. In it, we find purpose and everything we need. Although it isn’t a perfect place (because we aren’t), it is a great place. Stay close to it. Contribute to it. Learn from it. In doing so, we help keep the predators away.
Black History Month: Celebrate Us
February marks the time we focus on and celebrate black history and heritage during Black History Month. It is also when we celebrate love. This year’s theme is Black Migrations. Between 1916 and 1970, approximately 6 million African-Americans moved from the rural south and southeast to the urban Northwest, Midwest, and West. My family is part of that migration. From Oklahoma, Texas, and Louisiana, my grandparents made their way west in search of greater, better and more. Eons before my grandparents chose to move west there was another, involuntary resettling of black people to America. Slavery. It is a subject that many prefer not to speak of in modern circles. It was a critical, painful occurrence in our history that has shaped the black experience in this country. I am a product of that history. I don’t know which part of the African continent my ancestors began their fateful voyage, but their blood runs warm through my veins today. It is joined with the blood of others on a journey through the ages to get to me. When I was born, my grandmother’s friend (referring to who I resembled) told her I was a ‘duke’s mixture. Since blood from multiple cultures and countries runs through my veins, I think she was right.
Black History Month is celebrated in five countries around the world. It occurs in Canada and the U.S in February, and in October in the Netherlands. Ireland and United Kingdom. It is about much more than slavery and civil rights. It is a study in human resilience, genius, collaboration, contribution, ostracism, affluence, and influence. It is a rich history mostly absent from modern education systems. Sadly, not enough of it is shared or taught. Perhaps if it were, this month would only be a celebration of love.
During Black History Month we are reminded of who we are and where we come from in preparation for the life’s next destinations. When we pay attention, we are granted first-class tickets to continue. The train leaves without us when we don’t. Celebrate the deliciously sweet fruit that is black history this month and all year. Black history is American history. Learn more about it. Discuss it. Share it. Remember, love is an action word.
“Real education means to inspire people to live more abundantly, to learn to begin with life as they find it and make it better…”
— Carter G. Woodson
Surviving A Tilt
I have started, stopped and re-written this post many times in the last several weeks. It has been the most difficult to write since the Tilt & Flourish launched. After nine months of writing about how to flourish, embracing the flourish and encouraging you to slow down and enjoy the wonders around you, it is now time to write about a tilt. My usual process didn’t work with this one, so I took an alternate route to its completion. It turns out that writing about survival while you’re concerned about surviving is challenging, at best. Difficulties and stressful times are familiar to us all, but I’m a firm believer that there are lessons to be learned and shared in every single one. Sharing for the benefit of helping others is a good thing, but it isn’t always easy. Such was the case with this post.
The fourth quarter of the year is always an exciting time. It starts in September when I celebrate another trip around the sun and continues through holidays filled with beauty, kindness, celebrations and of course, good food. The end of the year is typically a happy and productive time for me. Last year was no different. With my holiday plans in place and my calendar inching closer to a new year filled with beautiful possibilities, life was grand!
PLOT TWIST: On December 22nd, the government shutdown began. My holiday vacation was already underway so I decided to focus on enjoying my friends and family. TBH, as a federal employee, I wasn’t shaken at first. Shutdown rumors and furloughs seem to happen with too much regularity in recent years. When it began, I was hopeful it would end quickly. By the time it approached three weeks, my internal alarms were going off. With no clear resolution on the horizon, I began to wonder just how long this thing could last. Around the same time, calls and messages from fellow affected colleagues and friends began circulating (a clear indication that I wasn’t the only one with heightened concerns). While no one spoke the obvious out loud, the lack of resources coupled with no end to this problem in sight was cause for concern.
Life has a way of redirecting our best-laid plans. My plans for the new year had not included this. Whether we call them plot twists, curveballs, crises or tilts, when tough times arrive they can be frustrating and frightening to navigate. They can come in the form of an illness, family crisis, job change, financial problems or something else. It is essential during challenging times to try to focus on something other than the current circumstance so that frustration and depression don’t overtake you. Sometimes the simplest things can provide stress relief. I started with cleaning and purging my home. For me, cleaning is both productive and cathartic. It has always proven to distract me in a good way. My regular schedule is pretty busy, so I used the early days of the shutdown to do things that I had neglected. It worked well for a while, but I had to find other ways to deal with my stress as time went on. That’s how it goes. There’s no single formula for dealing with uncomfortable and sometimes, heartbreaking circumstances. We have to be intentional about the way we handle ourselves to remain mentally and physically healthy. Although I haven’t mastered handling tough times, I have discovered some things that help. If you’re facing a challenge, here are a few tips that might be helpful:
- THINK POSITIVE –Reflect on all the good things around you (there are many). You have so much to be grateful for, even though it may be hard to focus on at the moment. If you can’t think of anything, click here for an earlier post of mine- it may help.
- DON’T ISOLATE – While it might be tempting to close the blinds and pull the covers over your head, DON’T! Interact with people, engage in a favorite activity, or both. Your mood and your ability to handle whatever you are facing will improve.
- LEAN ON YOUR FAITH – It won’t fail you!
- SAY YES – People around you will offer help in whatever way they can. Now isn’t the time for rogue independence. Everyone one needs help at some point, and when facing challenges we all need something.
- GET BUSY – Keep your mind and everything else occupied. My mom used to say, ‘An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.’ Being productive during times of stress and anxiety helps to keep tension at bay and emotions in check. Use your excess energy to do things that you may have been putting off.
- LOOK FORWARD – Challenging times don’t last! At some point, the challenge will end. If you don’t believe me, look back. You’ve survived beautifully before and you will again.
- TAKE GOOD CARE – It’s easy to forget to take care of yourself during tough times. Take time to practice some true self-care when times are rocky. Exercise, meditation, prayer, proper rest and eating nourishing foods are all great ways to keep yourself and your health in focus.
Until next time, go live your life on purpose!
“And this too shall pass.”
— Unknown
Happy New Year!
I love the early, dark and night-like moments of a new day. The cool, dark dawning feels rich with possibilities. I’m not a morning person. In fact, I think this time was created just to trick me out of bed to enjoy the twinkling of a brand new day. These early hours are the purest for me. There is something very special about them.
The dawn of a new year feels almost the same. After the late night celebrations that welcome another year, the first hours—even days of a new year also feel rich with possibilities. It comes with 365 chunks of opportunity for us to sculpt and shape into what will best serve others and ourselves. Within each chunk, we have close to 1500 minutes to notice, accomplish, reflect, help, share, love, encourage, inspire, learn…and so much more. By the year’s end, we will have been gifted more than 525,000 moments to do the same. We really must stop saying we don’t have time. We have plenty. What if, at the start of every new year you were gifted $525,000? Every year. Would you say you had no money? My guess is, no.
Since we are each given the same gift of time at the start of every year, I guess the next question is: What will you do with it? There’s no doubt that we’d have some idea of what we’d do with the gift of money. We’d know, pretty readily what we’d spend it on, with whom we’d share it and how much we’d save. We would prioritize certain things and we’d completely avoid others. Now think about your gift of time. How will you spend it? With whom will you share it? What will you prioritize the use of your gift for?
As this pure, precious time of the year arrives, I encourage you to join me in giving thought to how you use your time during the next 365 days. Perhaps we can spend the first quiet and reflective moments to revel in the possibilities and opportunities that lie ahead and give some real thought to how we can best use them. Whether we are discussing money or time, how we spend it is most important.
Happy New Year!
“Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one.”
—Brad Paisley
Website Development, Digital Marketing, and Hosting by Sidereal Digital™. Brand Management and Consulting Services offered by Sidereal Branding™.
