A couple of weeks ago, I attended the Blogher18 Creators Summit, the quintessential conference for female bloggers, content creators and social media influencers of all kinds (IMO). It was a two-day event with roughly 2,000 attendees and filled to overflowing with information, inspiration, interaction, collaboration, talent, opportunity and so much more. It was simply awesome! If I sound excited now, you can imagine what I was like two weeks ago. After two long travel days fraught with the typical travel challenges, plus the exciting time spent at the conference, I returned home with tons of helpful new information in my head and a huge smile on my face. Like I said, it was an amazing experience.

Attending this conference is a big deal to me because when I began this blogger journey I didn’t have a clue about what I was doing. I had a vision but didn’t know how to execute it. I didn’t personally know anyone who had been a blogger or who could give me tips on getting started. I didn’t know what to expect. I spent many months researching and benchmarking. From Google searches to personally created surveys, I learned a lot but some things were still missing. I needed to be in an environment with folks who’d been or were on a similar path. I started looking for it. God heard my prayers and the Blogher events found me quickly. I read every detail I could find about Blogher and SheKnows Media and knew it was where I needed to go. Several months later I landed in New York. Ready.

Listen, I could wax poetic about ‘pursuing your passion’ or ‘stars aligning’ or even the oft-repeated ‘If you do what you love’ statement, but it isn’t necessary. You’ve heard it all before. What I will share is this: roll up your sleeves and get to work! Allow yourself to be uncomfortable and to do the uncomfortable. Sometimes there is no roadmap to where you want to go, in which case you become the roadmap. The words ‘do, pursue and align’ are all verbs. Action words. There’s movement implied and that’s where you have to start when you have a vision for something. Start moving in the direction you want to go. Start asking questions. Start doing research. Just start. It can be exciting and excruciating at the same time, but it is worth it. My journey into this new venture has just begun. I have no idea where it will take me but I’m excited to find out. If my experience at the Blogher18 Creators Summit is any indication of what is to come, my smile will be so bright you’ll need sunglasses to talk to me. If we go together, we might light up the universe.

Once in a while, I am reminded that I haven’t been taking the best care of myself. I’m pretty conscientious when working on projects or helping others but occasionally I drop the ball when the project is me. The excuse is usually ‘life gets in the way,’ which is really no excuse at all. Life doesn’t really get in the way. I just don’t prioritize myself. Sooner or later something reminds me that I need to get back on track. This time, it was the picture above. What does Jerry Rice have to do with me? I’ll get to that shortly. I also realized that we are nearing the end of the eighth month of the year. In about a month I will celebrate another birthday. Each year around this time, there are a couple of things I do: buy new bras (more about this another time) and do some self-evaluation.

True self-evaluation takes time and requires honesty. We have to revisits our habits and choices to observe how well they are working. This periodic evaluation can tell us if we’re headed in the right direction. Where adjustments are needed, we should make them. Where complete change is in order, we should work toward it. My own self-evaluation revealed some good habits and others that need improvement. For example, I’ve gone completely off course when it comes to consistently getting to bed at a reasonable hour. This is significant for me because a lack of quality rest spirals into having low energy which leads to not exercising, which leads to low productivity, which leads to … and to … and to! It is a slippery slope that starts with not getting my butt in bed at a reasonable hour.

Now back to Jerry Rice. The iconic and now retired San Francisco 49er was excellent on the football field. As of 2017, he still holds more than 100 NFL records. I am admittedly not a football fan. The game never really held my interest. The male form on displayed on the field did hold my interest (don’t judge me). I am an avid fan of the fit male form and Jerry Rice has been a stellar example of it for years. Recently he was featured in the ESPN magazine ‘Body Issue.’ At 55 years old, Mr. Rice is still in excellent shape. He credits his physique and current level of fitness to habits that began as a high school sophomore and continued throughout his NFL career…even during the off-season. He developed and honed fitness and training habits that kept him healthy, agile and physically fit throughout his football career and now, beyond. In his ESPN magazine interview, Mr. Rice said he still mixes-up his training to keep his body in good form but he doesn’t diet. He’s taken a lifetime to learn, develop and perfect this formula and it works for him.

I haven’t figured it all out yet, but I’m perfecting my formula. Authenticity is crucial in figuring out what works best for us. When fitness is my goal, walking, cycling, hiking, and swimming work best. I can’t (and don’t want to) train like an NFL wide receiver. Regardless of what we see happening around us or what others might be doing, we have to focus on our own best practices. With consistency and adjustments along the way, we will perfect our own formula, just like Jerry Rice.

Imagine for a minute that you’re holding a newborn baby. Maybe it’s your child, grandchild, niece or nephew. It’s someone beloved. You have limited time with this precious being and must impart something important before the clock runs out. What do you say?  I imagine that your words are deliberate, loving and truthful, to say the least. You’re probably using the time you have to plant seeds of positivity. Your time ends quickly.

Were your words helpful or a hindrance?

Now look in the mirror. How do you talk to the person you see? What words do you use? Are they encouraging words? Do you speak to yourself with love and kindness? How much positivity do you deposit within? If someone spoke to you the way you speak to yourself, how would you respond? So often, we say things to and about ourselves that are limiting, damaging and very often untrue. We are keenly aware of the habit when someone else practices it, but we aren’t as aware when we are guilty of the same.  Our own words can be brutal when we get a glimpse of ourselves in a mirror or drop a glass on the kitchen floor.

We receive messages about ourselves from the moment we are born. Even though we start as blank canvases, brush strokes are constantly added. From childhood taunts to hurtful tweets, we take on so many messages that it becomes difficult to distinguish between our portrait and an abstract painting. If we chose our language-to-self with the same care as that used to speak to the newborn, things would improve dramatically. By saying, ‘Accidents happen’ instead of saying ‘I’m so clumsy,’ we begin to disavow the pursuit of perfection.  If we are grateful that we have sight instead of cringing at what we see in the mirror, our thoughts become more positive.  We’d feel better. Each time I exit the shower I get a bird’s eye view of my ‘superpower.’  That’s what I call my thighs. With the help of my legs and feet, they take me wherever I need to go. Every day I smile because of them.

As if giving you broken little gifts, people will say and have undoubtedly said ugly things. But just because someone gives you something doesn’t mean you have to accept it.  Refuse the gifts of the wounded! Don’t let them paint on your canvas!  We are each brilliantly and intricately created unlike anyone else in the universe.  We are so unique that when we cease to exist, a hole is created by our absence. When we talk to ourselves in disparaging ways, we chip away at that uniqueness, and ourselves little by little.

Choose your words carefully. Be intentional. Replace bad ones with good ones. Reserve the best ones for yourself.  We can become good at anything with practice and this is no different. Like choosing argyle or ruffled socks, we also get to choose the words we wear.  Get dressed in fresh new words every day by replacing the old, stinky and mismatched.

…Welcome back!

It’s time to enjoy long days, warm temperatures, plums, watermelons and white peaches, summer salads, barbeque and beach umbrellas, surfboards, tank tops and sundresses, vacations and family reunions. The list is practically endless. It’s an awesome time of year and even though I am not a fan of summer’s heat, I have fun finding ways to bear it.  Spending time at the beach, enjoying outdoor concerts and eating frozen yogurt are just a few. The kiddies are out of school so there are fewer cars on the road, which for me, equates to another summertime bonus: lighter traffic!

The reasons we each have to enjoy our warm new season may vary from person to person, but the opportunity for us all to enjoy it begins anew today.  Enjoy your summer. I’ve got a pretty big summer to-do list. There’s old stuff as well as new adventures and I plan to enjoy them all. I hope you’ll take time this summer to do more of the things that truly bring you joy. The days are longer, so you’ll have plenty of time.

Summertime

Longer days and shorter nights,

Darker shades and brighter lights.

Louder music and wilder friends,

No need for pencils, no need for pens!

The parties are turned up,

The grills are burnt up,

The drinks are getting drunk up!

Everybody is pumped up!

Make these days the time of your life,

And make the nights just as right.

This time only comes once a year,

So live it up, don’t have any fears.

Everybody’s happy, and the girls are fine,

You already know it’s summertime!

–Ra’heim Robinson