Wow! Time flies when you’re living life (and having fun too). It’s been a year since my visit to the small island country in the Atlantic known as Cuba. It was a fabulous vacation filled with all sorts of awe-inspiring history, culture, people, art, architecture and more. I came back hungry for more and wishing I could’ve stayed longer. It was a beautiful experience in which all my senses were engaged from the time I woke up until I retired (aka, passed out) at night. I did my best to capture everything in pictures and notes so that I could savor the experience over and over again.

A lot has happened in the year since my vacation. You know how it goes, once vacation is over, we get right back to the rhythm of our daily lives, only squeezing in a bit of entertainment and relaxation here and there. Before long, the topped-off vacation tank is close to empty again. It happens. It’s part of the rhythm of life, especially here in the United States. We work long and hard to pay for things that, at some point, we realize we don’t need. Some of us accumulate vacation time and are actually forced to use it or lose it at the end of the year. Forced…to play? Forced to rest? Forced to reset? Yes. Forced. If we heard these same words in some other context or applied to someone other than ourselves, it would sound ridiculous. But as applied to us, somehow it seems reasonable. It’s important to take time out to rest our bodies and refresh our minds but sometimes it isn’t practical or possible. When this happens, why not take a mental vacation?

Mental vacations are necessary. They’re free, easily accessible, stress busting, morale boosting, and revitalizing. Sometimes, just a few moments looking out a window or listening to your favorite music will work miracles for an aching psyche. I took a mental vacation today. It was a non-stop flight to Miami where I changed planes and boarded a quick flight across the ocean to Havana. There were no long lines through airport security or flight turbulence. The weather was gorgeous throughout the trip. I met wonderful people, tasted good food. And the colors! Oh, such gorgeous colors. They were everywhere! Especially in the evening sky as the sun began to set beyond the horizon. It was a splendid vacation. I did so much while I was gone. I needed that trip. My trip was courtesy of some photos from the actual vacation. That was all it took to breathe a bit of energy into the day. Recalling the faces and moments gave me the break I needed. It was the best 20 minutes of this week.

If you notice you’re grumpier, sicklier or more anxious than usual it may be time for a virtual vacation. Take a little time to unplug, smell the roses, break a sweat, take a nap or indulge in your favorite hobby. You’ll feel better, more productive, more creative and less stressed. It may be your best trip yet.

Now relax and enjoy your own quick getaway to Cuba with the slideshow below:

Like many others, I’d made plans (not resolutions) for the New Year and greeted it with excitement and hope. But shortly after singing ‘Auld Lang Syne’ to ring in the new year, my world began to tilt and spin in unexpected and uncontrollable ways. As the adage goes, ‘If you want to make God laugh, tell Him what your plans are!’ So went the way of mine. Death, illness, financial distress, career uncertainty, natural disaster …life left me whining like a disappointed toddler. “Why this? Why not that?” I started comparing and contrasting my life with the carefully curated Insta-Stories streaming on my computer. It was depressing and I was depressed. Then something happened to shift my focus. A dear friend and colleague ended one of our conversations with six words that left me awestruck: “Have a good day on purpose.” (On purpose?) How? The statement resonated. I sat silently for quite a while trying to figure out how to start this ‘on purpose’ good day. Finally, it began with a hummingbird. The tiny creature that visited the trees outside my bedroom window each afternoon fascinated me enough to cause me focus on something other than myself. Watching it move so quickly and effortlessly between the trees was like therapy. I was grateful for the little bird’s visit and was grateful for the spontaneous smiles that resulted because of it. I was thankful that my gratitude journey had begun.

Gratitude is POWERFUL. Like the petals of a blossoming flower, each one revealing another, so was this journey. The more I focused on being grateful, the more I found to be grateful for. It was fantastic! I spent the entire year focused on gratitude. The practice of intentionally viewing my life and the world around me through a lens of thankfulness was humbling and liberating. Focusing on gratitude didn’t create a perfect life or eliminate its challenges but it helped to put my experiences in perspective. It also helped decrease my stress level and gave me a greater sense of connection to world and people around me.

What about you? What are you grateful for? Take some time to look at the world around you differently. Use that time to begin to renew your focus. Sometimes the things we give the most attention are the least important. In case you need a little help, here are a few tips to get you started on your own gratitude journey:

— Write it down: Take some time each day to think about and journal what you are thankful for (be specific).

–Start a gratitude jar: Grab a jar (plain or fancy). Use a small piece of paper to capture something for which you are grateful and add it to the jar. Repeat daily/often. At the end of the year, you can review the contents of your jar to remind you of all the great things that happened!

–Practice a daily physical gratitude exercise: Begin or end each day by sitting quietly with your eyes closed. Starting at your toes and ending at the top of your head, focus on the function that each body part performs and express gratitude for it.

–Write a gratitude letter: Write a thank you letter to someone (living or dead) who has had a positive impact on your life. This simple exercise has amazing benefits.

–Be Social: Share a simple gratitude statement periodically on your social media accounts. This will keep you focused and may inspire someone else!

A couple of summers ago, I swam almost daily.  My cute, pixie haircut was relaxed and meticulously maintained. Between salon visits, caring for my hair was a breeze and I had everything imaginable to make sure it was. If my hair got a little fluffy I’d tie on a silk scarf and my hair would be fine the next day. One day after a swim, I noticed the roots of my hair were a little wavy. I hadn’t paid attention to that in the past and thought maybe it was because of the conditioner I’d used.  It wasn’t.  After that summer I began stretching out the time between relaxers further and further. I liked my hair’s kinks and curls. Every time I looked in the mirror I thought, ‘I love this!’

My story is not unlike that of a lot of black women. It was the summer before the ninth grade when I got my first relaxer and aside from a few brief periods when I stopped for a short time, I remained a faithful member of Team Relaxer. Before that, I was a little girl who got her hair pressed before Easter, school pictures and special occasions.

Now, I found myself wondering what my natural hair really looked and felt like. I couldn’t remember and really wanted to know. This wondering continued until I made the decision to stop relaxing my hair. I opted to transition from relaxed to natural over time instead of cutting-off the relaxed hair all at once. I knew I’d need time to adjust to the change. What I didn’t know was how many other fabulous changes would occur along the way.

Change comes in many forms and often makes us uncomfortable. We are creatures of habit and change for some of us, causes major stress. No matter how progressive or adventurous we might be, we are human. Change somehow manages to tap into our fears and insecurities the way little else can. We fear the unknown, failure, loss or ridicule, to name a few. This change, however, evoked something wonderful and positive: Excitement!

I was fortunate enough to have a few curl-friends who were already rocking their own natural crowns to help me through this process. Their advice was more valuable than anything I could’ve read in a book.  These natural-haired guides patiently walked me through this transition and the twenty billion questions I had about it.  It is a privilege to be led through change. Because you trust whoever is leading you, it’s less daunting. They are experienced in what you’re doing or have been where you’re going. They help you avoid pitfalls and share with you well-traveled paths and tips. Though the change was mine to experience, the process of getting me through it was communal.

Along the way, I discovered and rediscovered things that opened the door to a series of new thoughts, new people, new projects, and new goals. A portal of wonderful possibilities had been opened by a single decision.

Change is good and though it doesn’t always seem like it, it is a portal to new and positive things.  Whether good or bad, change can be a vehicle for growth, new beginnings, progress and improved self-confidence.  The change that comes as a result of being forced out of our comfort zones can lead us to self-discovery.  There’s something about being tossed into the deep end of the pool that shows us we really can swim. Often because of change, we learn that some of our previous beliefs have limited and kept us from all manner of fantastic possibility. When we conquer something…anything that we thought was impossible, our self-confidence soars. What a bonus!

Change is inevitable. It is a regular part of our lives that we don’t often notice until we are forced.  We experience it each day in some way. We age daily, not just when the calendar rolls around to the next birthday. It takes the earth approximately 365.3 days to make its trip around the sun, during which time we experience winter, spring, summer, fall and all twelve months of the year. We see flowers bloom and leaves fall. Babies make their entry into the world and loved ones take their leave from it.  Take a look at your kindergarten, high school, and most recent pictures. Notice any changes?

When facing your next challenge of change, consider the upside! Accept it as necessary for growth. Allow it to propel you to your next best experience. Receive it with excitement, anticipating the positive result.  Know that you’re always in good company. Though our circumstances are personal, this process too is communal. Like the gurus who led me through my transition, God and the universe is leading you through your waves of change with signs and clues along the way.

You need a vacation! You need to clear your head and to breathe some different air. You want to go to scream in a place where no one knows you.  You decide to plan a trip.  “Where should I go?” you think. Hawaii? Paris? Africa? All of the beautiful scenes from the Discovery Channel and Travel Network begin to race through your mind. You troll Instagram for travel inspiration until you finally pick a spot. Then craziness ensues: When can I go? How much will it cost? Who’ll go with me? When are the kids out of school? Can I take off work? Before you know it, you’re stressed out about a trip you haven’t taken yet!

I’m an over-thinker. I’m even guilty of over-over-thinking! This frustrating habit has eaten up a lot of my energy over the years.  My rationalizations have been the reason, and in some cases, the excuse for not fully living. However, in a quest to live more fully and spend less time ‘thinking’ about doing things and more time doing them, I recently decided to go for it!

In desperate need of a change of scenery, I decided to take a trip.  Being mindful of time, money and responsibilities, I chose a short one along the California coastline, by train.  It was a six-hour trip from home and gave me a chance to see parts of the coast that I’d miss if traveling by car.  California is a large, beautiful state and even though I’m a native, there are places I’ve yet to see.  With this impromptu get away, I could check off a few more.

My journey began early on a Friday morning. I arrived at the train station with one small bag, my camera and a few snacks for the road. I was warmly greeted and told where to find my seat.  My reservation was in business class and even though I didn’t think it would make much of a difference on the train, most of the reviews suggested that it was worth the extra twenty dollars. The reviews were right. It was definitely worth it! Unlike modern-day air travel, the compartment was spacious, very clean and super comfortable. The trip had already started well.

One of my first observations during the excursion was the lack of tension in my neck and shoulders.  To travel in Southern California without tension is winning! In case you didn’t know, California traffic is brutal most hours of the day.  It can be very stressful especially if you hate driving in it as much as I do. Better than any massage, this alone was worth the cost of train fare.  As we traveled north, the experience was different than I expected.  It was slow, quiet and smooth. I took in the panorama from my seat without much distraction.  The train floated past gridlocked freeways like they weren’t even there.  It was amazing.  As the trip continued, scenes from urban to dystopian to suburban, clicked by in what seemed like seconds. There were agricultural stretches of land, some planted and flourishing; others that were already harvested and bare. The scenic ocean views were my favorite. With palm trees peppering parts of them and hillside rock formations opposing them, it was very relaxing. Being a little sleepy but not wanting to miss anything, I tried to capture the scenic beauty in pictures and video to share with friends, but nothing really compares to the real thing.  In what I believed to be a signal from God to just enjoy the experience, I was unable to share what I captured along the most scenic part of the trip because there was no signal.

As we moved along, train’s hum became a soothing white noise. I was able to read without distraction, which was a major accomplishment. By the time this first leg of the trip had ended, my verdict had been rendered. The trip was a success. I Uber’d to the hotel, ordered dinner and crashed. After getting up (too) early the next morning for the trip home, I was psyched to do it all again.

This excursion required little time away, wasn’t expensive or to a far-away locale. It did however, give me a chance to refresh and reset (R&R).  It provided a welcome break from my over-thinking, stress and daily routine.

Self–care is monumentally important but too often neglected. Life will continue to happen no matter what. If you stay home it happens. If you don’t take off work it happens. If money’s tight it still happens. Yes, there are obligations and responsibilities to consider. Just remember to take care of and time for yourself. Don’t let planning or trying to anticipate every possible ‘what if,’ trip you up. Take care of YOU and go anyway.